Your Fics Suck
by Gonzy Rocks Blisters
Summary: Just a bunch of nonsensical drama that is Degrassi, but in a more humourous less realistic way. It's funny, read it. ... s'il vous plait?
1. In Which Manny Removes Her Pants

This is the first section/chapter of the hilarious nonsensical Degrassi. I got this idea from www.degrassi.tv where the message boards have become overrun with disgusting fanfiction. So I decided that because their fics suck, I would christen mine 'Your Fics Suck'!

I don't own Degrassi, I never will, blah blah blah.

Now read!

**In Which Manny Removes Her Pants**

Manny is walking down the hall, and suddenly she has the urge to remove her pants. This is okay because she still looks very cute in her thong. Which is cute and not inappropriate.

"Hey hottie", says Sully who has somehow entered this fic even as a fifth rate actor and disposable character.

"Sully I am so over you", Manny says, winking at a nearby idiot.

"But I want your sex", he whines.

"Payments are negotiable."

"Great, mind if the boys get in on the deal?"

"How big?"

"Nevermind."

Meanwhile Emma is watching from her corner of the planet, wearing the lesser part of a burlap sack, and many sex bracelets. Puss is oozing from her mouth, as she eyes Manny and Sully thinking, he only gave me one bracelet, that family friendly word.

Craig approaches her wearing a straightjacket and oxygen mask, "I know what you mean, I want a piece of that, too."

"Craig, you are so sexist, I can't believe you blah blah blah feminist crap" then she storms away, taking a swig of her green tea.

**End! Next Time: In Which Ellie Dreams**

**R&R**


	2. In Which there is an Elephant

**In Which There is an Elephant**

Ellie is sitting on the washroom floor drawing pictures with her blood because she believes she is a witch. Ellie is not a witch, but insane, they let her attend school out of sympathy.

"If I were a fire hydrant, I would help my community, I wish I were a fire hydrant. Don't you Ashley?" she asks innocently.

"No, I'd rather be the president of the United States. That way I could have a reason to be an asshole."

"I could make you president, I have powers, you know?"

"I bet you could. What are you drawing?"

"A house."

Ashley looks at the picture, which is obviously an elephant.

"It looks like an elephant."

"Do not question me, I will slit your throat in your sleep."

**Done, I have a few more chapters on the way. I expect at leats ten reviews by then, though. Or I'll never ever ever ever ever post again. You hear? So tell your friends or soemthing...**


	3. On Paige and Spinner

**I know someone said to make the chapters longer, I will later. Seriously, alot of this is all just prewritten stuff, but I'm starting to make them longer for you viewing pleasure :)**

**just-nikki** - I appreciate your efforts, tell Mr. Suzy I said hello.

**britneyh8r - **I kinda forgot about the whole Canada not having a presidant thing, oops. Now it's just a stupid political joke. Huzzah!

**On Paige and Spinner **

"Paige, I like your rack today", Mr. O said after explaining the ABCs.

"Matt, I appreciate your compliment, but school is not the place for this kind of thing." She said, looking around to see if anybody was staring. They were.

"Excuse me, young lady, you shall address me as 'Mr. OH', and nothing else. I expect you to stay after class for your disrespect."

"Promise?"

"Will you take your shirt off?"

Paige just smiles and goes back to drawing ponies.

Spinner looks very confused, even more so than usual. He was drawing dirty pictures in his notebook, in crayon. He's a very creative person; in fact he just drew a puddle of mud. He thought Paige's pony would look marvelous in the puddle, getting all dirty and wet; yes it would be a grand thing. Then he remembered that ponies don't like it when it rains, so he cried.

Paige, being the sensitive rape victim that she is, went to comfort Spinner by singing him a song,

_Ah, heat is up __  
__So ladies, fellas __  
__Drop your cups __  
__Body's hot __  
__Front to back __  
__Now move your ass (ha) __  
__I like that __  
_  
. Mr. O got jealous and pummeled Spinner. It was kinda hot. Then Paige went and got a soda.

**End Transmission**

**Read and Review! I need ten more reviews or I'll never ever ever ever post again. Ever.**


	4. More on Manny and Emma

**Hohum, I'm glad you guys are giving me some suggestions! I have a bit of a wirters blakc right now. Like I already said, I have about three more chapters already written out. So I'll start on the new stuff in a day or two. Muah! I love you all. **

**More on Manny and Emma.**

"Hey, School Slut!" Emma screams from across the hall.

Manny, recognizing Emma's call turns from Sully giving him an eyeful of cute bootie, which is cute and not inappropriate, "Hey Ravine Whore!"

Then run to hug each other, but Manny remembers that Emma is dripping with STDs and puts on a surgical mask and gloves before getting too close to her. Then they hug.

"How's the business?" Emma asks.

"They're having trouble accommodating to my needs." Manny sighs.

Emma punches her in the shoulder playfully, "I told you the streets were a better place for you."

"Yea, well we all start somewhere. How's your collection coming?" she asks, referring to Emma's ever-growing album of bracelets.

"Well, it's kinda hard, the stores stopped stocking them as often. I have most of them, anyways. It's kind of disappointing."

"I can understand that. I wish I didn't hate Craig intensely, that way I could get some of that inheritance, no?"

"He wants your body, hun, go for it."

"Okay, do you know where I put my pants?"

"Raditch took them."

"Crap."

Next time, Manny gets her pants back. Lucky us.

**Okay, I want more reviews, so I am not updating until I have 35 reviews. Unless you beg. Thank you. Now review! Press the purpley-blue button!**


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